Review
Gathering together daily for a family meal has long been a priority in our family. But, intentionally using that mealtime to encourage spiritual and character growth has not been of utmost priority for us until recently. In Around the Table, author Sharon Fleming discusses why a focus on both gathering for the meal and using mealtime for growth and training are important.
Fleming begins Around the Table by discussing the importance of establishing family meals. But, her approach is not one of condemnation for those who might not be able to simply jump right into a family dinner seven days a week. Instead, she gives suggestions for working into the habit. She also makes it clear that a few regular meals together every week are far better than none. Her approach is best summed up in the following quote:
If you truly want to be together as a family around the table – even though it seems impossible – I encourage you to ask God to show you how to arrange your schedules and to give you creativity to find the time for this important family tradition. God can work in many ways. Ephesians 3:20 says, “He is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think.”
Around the Table focuses on several areas of training that fit well into family meals times.
- Table manners are best learned through consistent, regular training.
- Learning to have meaningful discussion is well-learned through natural, but organized, times when conversation will be the least interrupted.
- Since much of the work in a family revolves around providing physical nourishment, family mealtime is a great time to learn to work together to meet the needs of the family.
- Celebrating events great and small and Biblical hospitality are both well-learned when sharing the family table with others.
My one frustration with Around the Table is found in Fleming’s suggestions for practical implementation of family meal time. Her personality and mine vary greatly, and many of her suggestions really wouldn’t “click” with my family. Fortunately, our family has found our own niche for growing together during family meal times. But, families who are trying to initiate family meal times by applying these suggestions might find themselves frustrated if their personalities don’t mesh with Fleming’s. Even so, I find this book very helpful in encouraging family meal times and establishing what the focus of such meal times should be.
About the Reviewer
Sharon Fleming is a missionary wife and mother of four. She and her husband, Jim, served the Lord in Lima, Peru for eight years and in Bogota, Colombia for sixteen years. They currently are “missionaries to the world” inspiring and challenging people to study the Word of God in the 110 countries where the Emmaus Bible Courses are used. Jim travels about one-third of the time and Sharon gets to join him on one or two trips a year. Although they expected to live out their lives overseas, they currently have their family meals around a table in Dubuque, Iowa.
ECS Ministries is the world’s largest publisher of correspondence study courses, distributing 1.4 million courses every year. The courses are evangelical, educational, and edifying in nature. With over 80 titles available in English (and 50 in Spanish), the courses are leading many men and women into greater understanding of God’s Word.
I’d like the readers to know that I have a blog with more information and ideas that I update three times a week. I’m sorry, Ann, that you don’t feel our personalities would mesh. I have tried, and continue to try to come up with a variety of ideas so that while not all would fit all, each would find some they can try with their families.
If the readers go to the ECS web page link (above) they can read the introduction and the first chapter to get a taste of the book.
(Clicking on my name will take you to my blog.)
Sharon,
Thank you so much for the reminder of the blog! I think that will be a helpful tool to readers.
As for our personality differences, I would like to say this. As I read the book, you personality reminded me of a lady who just happens to be one of my dearest friends. She is not the one I go to for hospitality or celebratory suggestions because we are so different in that respect. Her recommendations in that respect leave me frustrated and discouraged. But, in other regards, she is one of my most trusted spiritual confidants.
The suggestions we share will always have limitations, but that does not mean we cannot connect in many other ways.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Even a man can get great ideas from this practical little guide about how to have fun at mealtime and make those times useful. And the book comes in bite size sections that we men can stay focused long enough to read – ah – but the real reason we put the book down is that we want to go apply to our family an idea we just read about! I like it.
This book is a useful resource for every family – any size, any location, especially if texting, video games, extracurricular activities and work schedules make regular family time in your family a challenge. Although the book is inexpensive, its value will multiply for decades. With only 80-pages, it can be read in one afternoon while the kids are napping, and the reader can have at least one new idea to try by dinnertime. It is loaded with principles that can make quality mealtimes fit any lifestyle. The principles have been tried and proven for over twenty years by the author’s family. She includes many creative and practical ideas tips, all simple to do with little effort. Around the Table has the potential to change families and give a solid heritage to carry into future generations.
I love the book Around the Table by Sharon Fleming and highly recommend it. This is a must read for families. (In fact, I bought this book for every family in my local church!) Sharon relates through stories and practical advice how to raise a godly family. She says she’s addressing one aspect of the Christian family, the time around the table, but really it’s so much more. As you read this book you will see the tremendous value and potential of meal times to enjoy the love of family, to instill Christian values, communication skills, manners and godliness. Sharon will inspire you to set your priorities, start new traditions and have fun as you press forward in raising your family. She deals honestly with struggles and difficulties and offers many ideas to help in those areas. Consider Sharon your personal coach sitting next to you urging you on as you raise your family. I love this book because much of what I learned about God and life was learned around the table growing up. That specific table was built by my grandfather and could seat four or, after the leaves were added, twelve. It was there I learned the love of family, the love of God, the love of the brethren, the love of the Word, the love of hospitality, the love of fun and more. Today I have that table and use table time for building authentic relationships where love is. I would like to see those traditions continued and generations go on for God. I read this book and was encouraged to press on and be creative. I hope it will do the same for you!
I love the book and feel there is a real need for family meals in these days of our fast paced
lives. Sharon gives ideas that can be used by any family, and we can take some of the ideas
and adapt them to our own homes and families.
Nothing says, “I love you” better than spending time with someone. I find this is especially true for children. As a teacher I have been saddened many times over comments like, “I wish you would give my child more homework, so he won’t spend so much time in front of the television.” Likewise, I am still haunted by a single mother’s comment of, “I am doing all I can for my son. I am at the office until 10:00 or 11:00 at night.” What a contrast is evident in Around the Table by Sharon Fleming. In it we read of the impact that meaningful family time had on the author and how she and her husband are passing along their world view, their view of God, and all their values to their children. Mrs. Fleming discusses the insight she and her husband gained into the thoughts of their children through the meaningful topics of conversation around their family table. I found myself chuckling and rejoicing at the snippets of family life revealed on the pages of this book. As a matter of fact, I ordered 10 copies to give to nephews and nieces and have thought what a meaningful gift this would be for other young moms and dads. I highly recommend this book as a great jumping off place for parents and grandparents desiring to pass a similar legacy on to their children.
This certainly couldn’t hurt most family– our lives are so busy– that we are very blessed to be in the faith to know that family connect will keep us together in our faith
When we read this book (24 years into marriage, 16 years into childrearing, and six years into the mission field) we were utterly bowled over by its common sense and practicality. First I speed read the book then my husband and I speed read the book together then we read it again together more thoroughly and prayerfully – all in one week. It is not too dramatic a statement to say it changed our lives. We work with the urban poor in Bogotá and our home is in centrally located to our mission and our children’s friends’ homes – in other words, the house phone, cell phones and doorbell ring nonstop seven days a week.
We were blessed to find a family, equally involved in ministry work, which put the brakes on everything for a precious time with family every evening. Within a few days we completely changed our schedule and made the dinner hour an invaluable time. Three of our five children were teenagers by then so we braced ourselves knowing there would be some protests at such a drastic change. We were happily surprised to discover just the opposite – the kids LOVED recounting the day’s events, telling jokes, explaining what they’d learned in school and just being together… around the table.
Fleming’s ideas can be adapted to any family situation whether they live in a foreign country or in the United States, whether they have a large or small family. Two years into emptynestedness, we still preserve our evening mealtime for ourselves as a couple and when we have guests — visitors are always surprised when we don’t jump up to answer the phone in the middle of a meal.
Around the Table is my favorite wedding gift for Christian couples.
This is a short, encouraging read with ideas for families in many types of circumstances who want to pass their faith on to their children and grandchildren. I found a lot of food for thought in this book (ha-ha!). I think an underlying theme is the significance of members of the family (whether you can get them all together or not, time together in meals is important) coupled with the significance of sharing our faith along the way.